Thursday, February 12, 2009

without due respect to deconstruction

I now belong to the elite few who can actually use deconstruction in a sentence, having been formally introduced to the word, in our Literary Theory class. This is not to say, of course, that I understand it. Therefore, the sentence is going to be something profound and meta-transcendent like "I hate deconstruction." Really, I've not encountered something so silly in a long time now.

Speaking of silly, I'm going to veer away from highfalutin literary terms and post something inane here, emailed to me by a friend who wanted to cheer me up after our fence fell.

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Q. What's the difference between corruption in the US and corruption in the Philippines?

A. In the U.S. they go to jail. In the Philippines , they go to the U.S.

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Reporter: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo?

Police: DNA na...

Reporter: Sir, ano po yung DNA?

Police: "Di Namin Alam."

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Pare 1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?

Pare 2: Hindi, eh. Ano ba, pare?

Pare 1: Lowbat, pare! Lowbat!

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Teacher: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?

Student: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday.

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Titser: Ano ang hugis ng mundo?

Juan: Kuwadrado po, maam!

Titser: Hindi! Ang mundo ay bilog.

Juan: Pero ma'am, sabi ng lolo ko, narating na niya ang apat na sulok ng mundo. May sulok po ba ang bilog?

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Eliseo: Sobra na talaga ang katangahan ng kumare mo. Ang akala niya, ang LAWSUIT ay uniporme ng pulis!

Joshua: Sus! Tanga nga! Eh, di ba, uniporme ng abugado yun?

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Erap to Cardinal Rosales: Cards, hangga ngayon galit pa ang simbahan sa akin. That is unfair!

Cardinal Rosales: Bakit mo naman nasabi yan, Erap?

Erap: Tignan 'nyo, Cards, mayroong sabado de GLORIA, mayroong Sagrado de CORAZON at mayroon ding Linggo de RAMOS, Bakit ako wala? Naging presidente din naman ako, ah.

Cardinal Rosales: O sige na nga, Erap. Para wala ka nang reklamo mula ngayon sa iyo na iyang ASS Wednesday!

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Dominique said...

I read somewhere that even Derrida refused to define what deconstruction was, so....

Loved the lowbat joke. Heck, I loved all of 'em!

ness said...

I love what John Searle said:

"Michel Foucault once characterized Derrida's prose style to me as "obscurantisme terroriste." The text is written so obscurely that you can't figure out exactly what the thesis is (hence "obscurantisme") and then when one criticizes it, the author says, "Vous m'avez mal compris; vous ĂȘtes idiot" (you have misunderstood me; you are a fool) (hence "terroriste")."

hehehe. obscurantisme terroriste indeed.

hey, there's so much love around it must be... Happy Valentine's Day!